The subtle shift that changes your networking results
Logic tells us that the way to get noticed in business networking is to talk more. But the people who actually get remembered? They tend to do the opposite. James West explains how to get more from business networking by speaking less.
When Kelly and I spoke with James Meadows on Adventures in Networking recently, we discussed one simple business networking: in any conversation, you’re either in broadcast mode or connection mode. One pushes information out. The other draws people in.
Here’s the difference in 30 seconds:
Broadcast mode looks like:
Opening with credentials, offers and features.
Treating all networking conversations like mini-pitches.
Measuring success by how much you “got across”.
Connection mode feels like:
Leading with curiosity and a genuine desire to learn from others.
Asking for someone’s backstory before sharing yours.
Looking for something useful to give them now (an intro, a link, some support).
That’s it. Two modes. And which one you choose makes all the difference.
The simple switch
Broadcasting feels safe and logical. You want to tell people all about your business because you want to get noticed and, ultimately, make sales. It’s understandable, especially if you’re getting frustrated posting on social media and seeing little response.
“People remember who helped and listened to them, not who had the polished intro. They’ll be the ones asking you questions about how they can help.”
James West, ONLE Networking
But it doesn’t work. Especially when you’re new to a network. Why? Because you haven’t built connections yet. You’re just another person talking at people.
At networking, when you build a connection based on empathy, understanding and a willingness to listen and help, people start to listen to you. And then what you’re saying matters. Speak before you’ve built connections and you’re talking into the ether - because no one is really listening.
How to put yourself into connection mode
The fastest way is to change your opening. Instead of launching into what you do, try one of these:
“What brought you into this line of work?”
“What business or sector have you had most success working with?”
“What would a great referral look like for you?”
Then delve deeper with follow-up questions. Think about ways you might be able to help or support based on what you hear.
The person who asks you questions but doesn’t listen to the answers - just waiting for their own turn to speak - is no better than a pure broadcaster.
Why this matters more now
AI has made it effortless to produce more messages. Which means more noise. What cuts through isn’t more volume - it’s noticing. Machines can generate words, but they can’t pick up on tone, timing, or whether someone’s eyes light up at a certain story.
Connection mode is basically noticing, in public, and responding in a human, helpful way. That’s what people remember. They appreciate it and are far more likely to listen to you when you speak.
Fearful of toning down your pitch?
“If I don’t pitch, won’t I miss chances?”
People remember who helped and listened to them, not who had the polished intro. They’ll be the ones asking you questions about how they can help. Of course, tell people what you do, but be economical so you save more time to listen.
“I’m not naturally high-energy.”
Good. Connection isn’t about volume. The world doesn’t need more loud people. It needs more listeners. Everyone wants to be heard - so if you’re good at listening, use that to your advantage.
“I never know how to help people at networking.”
Everyone wants to be heard. REALLY heard. That costs you nothing. If you then make a good connection, support their social media, or point them towards a potential client, that’s a bonus. But that only happens once you’ve built the connection. Start with the easy, free option: listen.
Try it this week
Pick one person at your next networking meeting. Have one agenda: listen and learn how you can help them. That’s it. Do it again next week. Notice how, with the pressure off, people become more responsive when you do speak.
It’s a small switch. But once you feel the results, you won’t want to go back to broadcast.
Want more structure for this?
Networking is a skill that can deliver endless benefits and sales opportunities to business owners. Take a look at our Online Business Networking Course - 12 self-led modules that turn human skills into outcomes, without the pushy stuff. Learn more: theonle.network/online-business-networking-course
Prefer to test the waters first? Visit ONLE as our guest: theonle.network/youve-been-invited-to-onle